Make your own free website on

Pieces Of My Mind
Chapter 4 (B & L)




Chapter 4
Third night in a row going to Lena's house. As always, Yulia had fed quickly and rushed to her redhead. And again, they were on the building top, Lena sitting down like a happy girl, and Yulia pacing around like a nervous vampire. Damn all that talking that prevented her from having simple fun! And how to explain this tactfully? "Sorry, Lena, but instead of a girlfriend you're going to have a nun"? No! But what could she say? It didn't make her suffer, sex wasn't in her nature now, the pleasure of blood was over enough, but maybe Lena wouldn't understand. Or maybe the redhead would want to know how to prove her love. But Yulia didn't need a proof, she didn't want to drink her blood; that scared her.

Concentrate. Lena was talking to her. Relax, listen, it's simple. She would do anything that she asked her to, anything, but she was only telling her to sit down. So she did, hugging her own legs and resting her chin on her knees. Of course, the redhead sensed that something was going on. Her freckly face frowned in concern, and a hand rested on Yulia's shoulder, playing with the crazy spikes of her black hair.

"Yul? Yulia?" her fingers dug on the vampire's jacket "Talk to me, what's wrong?"

"Hmmm... I was thinking about yesterday."
What about yesterday? The redhead didn't understand, and she asked if they had done something wrong... If Yulia regretted something. She knew this was strange, but what was better, ignoring what they felt?

"No!" Yulia cried "Course not. But Lena, I think we should talk about this we have... because I'm not sure you know all the things that it would mean. There are some conditions... things I wished they didn't exist. There's stuff we cannot do" she stated.

Stuff? Lena's mind was still closed, but she could sense ramblings of thoughts going inside her head, nearly being able to hear them churn and collide with each other.

"Will I be able to see you, to talk to you?" the girl asked, fearfully.

Of course she would! Yulia would come back to that window night after night, she didn't need to doubt that.

"So then, I don't care what are the conditions" she assured.

"You will care, Lena. Eventually, I know you will."

"Why?" the redhead asked, trying to make Yulia's head turn to look at her, but the vampire's strength kept her neck unmovable like a stone column.

"Because, Lena, you won't be able to show me love... fully" she whispered tactfully.

But what was Lena's answer? Of all the answers that Yulia had imagined, from horror to tears, the redhead said something unexpected. She said that she knew! Just whispered "I knew that" and relaxed! Yulia's eyes opened wide, and so did her mouth, while she shook her head and asked how could that be.

It was easy. Yulia had never known what Lena did during the day, when vampires sleep. The redhead had been reading, reading books and books about vampires! Most of them were trash, but she had devoured Anne Rice's ornamented literature and she had loved it. And there, in those thick books about vampires and their misfortunes, it clearly stated that vampires couldn't "breed". Alright, that was fiction, this was reality, but still, it didn't strike Lena as a surprise because she knew it was a possibility. 
Okay then, Lena knew. Now what? finally, Yulia turned to her, waiting for a deeper explanation. She wanted to know what were they going to do now, if they were going to live like that. So maybe they had bumped against one of the deeper barriers between vampires and humans. It was still to early to worry about immortality and mortality, and the blood conflict had been solved. Hey, if Lena accepted that it was in her nature to be an assassin, well, it was no one's business; no one had the right to judge other people's relationships. But the matter of sex was here and now, it was urgent. And Yulia didn't know what to do, but she was sure that she couldn't condemn Lena to chastity.

"There are... options, of course" Yulia said, with a coarse voice.

"Options?" the redhead mouthed the word a little apprehensively "What options?"

Well... The first one would be that Lena could "see" other people, guys, girls, whatever she preferred. But Lena was scandalized; she screamed that she didn't want to do that, that she couldn't.

"Would you like to share me with someone else? Would you?" she yelled.

Yulia shook her head and tried to cover her ears, as if that simple human gesture could shut down Lena's voice. Of course she didn't want to think that Lena was with someone else while she had her daytime sleep, but who gave her the right to demand that kind of fidelity? But Lena wanted to hear another option fast or she would get real mad and would start harming her fists against Yulia's tough skin.

"Alright, Lena, don't be mad at me, please. I don't want that to happen either, but I had to say it, ok?" she sighed heavily "This is really difficult because I'm perfectly capable of changing your life, you know? I think that I've already changed it. Maybe it's unfair."

"Yul, don't be worried about that. I know what I'm doing, I'm not a little girl that needs to be protected from reality! So, tell me another of your options."

"Okay. The other option is... letting me... love you. But you have to understand, you can't do the same to me, you can't do it to me."

Lena considered this, and told Yulia that she found it terribly unfair. What would Yulia "win" in this relationship? She would give, but she wouldn't receive. The dark-haired shook her head. For her, it was enough to be with Lena, she didn't need anything, just maybe being able to love her.

"It's still unfair, Yulia. What would you...? Of course! Blood!"

No! No, please. Why did she have to read those damn books? Yulia stood up again and kicked the ground in fury, lifting some of the floor tiles. Curiously, she picked up one of the tiles and broke it with her hands, turning it to dust. No blood, was that clear?

The redhead went to Yulia and hugged her thin, little body tightly. Then, she kissed the cold skin of her cheeks and her red lips. Yulia dug her fingers on the red curls and carefully returned the kisses. This was all she needed. But Lena had other plans. She directed Yulia's now docile head to her neck and held it there. For a while, the dark-haired kissed that incredibly soft skin, but then noticed what Lena wanted and stopped. Was she out of her mind?

<<You're crazy>>, Yulia's mind told Lena's. It was all she could do to stop herself from pushing Lena away, and probably harming her. <<I'm not gonna do it, so you can forget about it.>>

<<But I want you to>>, the redhead insisted, <<it's fair.>>

"I don't care if the future of the world depends on doing it. I won't. I'll do anything for you, Lena, but I won't drink from you."

At last, the redhead surrendered, and let go of Yulia's head, going back to kissing her. <<Don't worry about me>>, the vampire was telling her, <<I'm more than satisfied loving you>>. And she was. Of course she was. She wanted to take Lena down to her room and show her, and prove it to her. But that was impossible; someone would wake up and discover the disaster. The triple disaster: Lena was being f*cked by someone in her own room; that person was a girl; a girl that was a vampire. No, impossible.

"Your house..." the redhead was mumbling, between kisses. 

What? Did she really want to risk going to her flat? But it wasn't really a risk, not after all that they had done. So it was just her and her stupid fears of harming little, tender Lena. And also a fear she had never felt up until then: what was going to happen now? She had never cared about the future or about the next five minutes, but now she was. The redhead was melting in her arms, and pleading, with half closed eyes.

"Okay" Yulia gasped "We'll go to my house."

As carefully as she could, the dark-haired slid her arms around Lenaās waist and picked her up, carrying her like a baby. Then, the redhead seemed to wake up and grabbed the collar of Yulia's jacket, impatiently waiting for the jump. And it came; the vampire leaped from the building top and landed delicately on the next, doing exaggerated movements with her arms and legs in the air. Basically, she was showing off. She had always done these things alone, and for the first time, she was sharing them! So she thought she might as well enjoy and cause Lena's giggles and excited little screams.

Soon enough, they got to Yulia's building; just another indistinct block like Lena's. The vampire crawled down the front, opened her window, dropped Lena inside (grabbing her by the back of the shirt, like you would do with your cat), and then got in herself.

The redhead spent a minute or two getting used to walk again, and then began looking around curiously. But Yulia's house was very empty; she just had the most basic things. Maybe Yulia was right and she had read too much books about vampires, because she had been curious to see how they lived. A part of her expected to see a lavishly decorated home, full of expensive paintings and sculptures, and other luxurious things. As delicately as she could, she told this to Yulia, who only laughed and made another comment about "those books". Then, she elaborated more. She didn't need all that stuff, specially the paintings and sculptures, since she could get into any museum she pleased and look at everything if she wished. Yes, there were some of them that did live like that, but they had to be more careful, for obvious reasons, and Yulia valued her security more.

After Lena had understood, both of them walked down the corridor, to Yulia's room. There really was nothing to see in the nearly empty flat, just... the coffin. So the dark-haired smiled and showed Lena how was it camouflaged under the bed.

"Wow, I wouldn't get inside one of those things..."

"You don't have to. Look, I have a bed, don't I?"

They smiled, but inside, Yulia kicked herself. What was she doing, flirting with her? God, what was she thinking? Now she had provoked... she had turned Lena on, and the redhead was back to being the sweetest little thing in her arms. Did she want this, was she sure?

"Lena, I..."

"Donāt talk" the girl whispered in her ear "I know what I'm doing. I want it."
So all that the vampire could do was shiver and deal with the unavoidable. The "unavoidable" was that Lena threw her arms around her and kissed her, and tried to push her towards the bed. Of course, that was impossible, but the dark-haired pretended that it was, and fell on the bed, trying to hide her fear. But there wasn't a lot that she could do, Lena was on top of her and kissing her deeply, pushing into her to make Yulia touch her.

This was it. Okay. She had to make a decision, and there was no time. <<Do you want this?>>, she asked herself. But of course she did, and Lena knew it, so the redhead was stubbornly trying to provoke her, and she was doing it very well.

"What the hell?" Yulia mumbled "Let's just do it."

"What?" Lena asked, her voice muffled because her lips were on Yulia's neck.

Nothing. Yulia caressed Lena's sides and kissed her, sliding her hands under the redhead's t-shirt and then trailing her fingers up and down her back. Lena muttered something like "at last", but it wasn't clear enough for Yulia to make out. Who cared? The dark-haired finished taking off the girl's t-shirt and then took off hers, so that she could feel Lena's stomach and breast with her own skin.

Then, she coiled Lena's limbs around her and rolled, so that she had the girl under her now. Immediately, she began kissing her and tracing her lips down her neck and shoulders. The redhead tried her best to keep calm, but when Yulia got to her pants and took them off painfully slow, she jerked around, whispering the other girl's name.

Smiling, the vampire kissed her underbelly, and playfully pretended that she couldn't finish striping Lena, which made the poor girl whine "come on
". Suddenly, Yulia had an idea. It was something commonly done among vampires, to make their kisses warmer, because they were cold creatures except when they had drunk recently. She couldn't help wondering what would happen, and if she hadn't been so excited herself, she wouldn't have ever done it. But all those rules were there to break them, weren't they?

Her fangs scraped her tongue. She was caressing Lena now, naughtily enjoying every change on the girl's face, every sound that came from her delicate lips, and the sight of every inch of her skin. Okay, she would wait until she the instant she came and do it.

When the moment came, Yulia dug her fangs on her own tongue and tasted her blood. Now. She crawled towards Lena's trembling, sighing body and kissed her, forcing her tongue into her mouth. That did it. The redhead gasped when Yulia's blood touched her tongue, and it wasn't two or three drops, it was a slosh of blood into her mouth! 


Sadly, Yulia didn't dare give her more, for fear of what would happen, but the blood did its job, which was make Lena feel a climax like never before. They cuddled against each other and rested for a while. Well, Yulia wasn't at all tired, but she enjoyed taking in Lena's exhausted beauty. Her sweaty forehead, her flushed cheeks, and heavy breathing.

"Are you cold?" Yulia whispered.

"Are you crazy?"

The vampire laughed. What a question. How could she be cold after... all that. But she didn't feel the temperature like humans did, so she was constantly afraid of Lena catching a cold or something like that. Anyway, like a worried mother, Yulia pulled out the bed sheets and covered both their bodies

"Tell me more vampire stuff..." Lena said, suddenly.

Alright, what did she want to know? Apart from making love, what were the things that they didn't need to do? Oh, well... Cutting their hair, for example. Their hair stayed the exact same way, the same as with their bodies; they did not change. Yulia hadn't had a haircut in a year; and if she did cut her hair, the next night, when she woke up, it would grow to the same length. The same happened with her nails.

"That's cool" the redhead muttered.

But she was falling asleep in that coziness, which made the vampire smile. It was as if Lena was a little girl that had just listened to a bedtime story. Kissing her forehead, she let her girl sleep; she needed it.
It seemed as if only a couple of minutes had passed when Yulia opened her eyes again. Nothing in the room showed that some time did go by; there was no clock, and Yulia never wore a watch. The redhead was still sleeping by her side, a warm and peaceful body, breathing deeply and unworriedly near. She was so unafraid of Yulia... maybe the vampire was more afraid of the girl than the other way around.

The redhead sighed, still marvelously naked. She lifted her arm and dropped it drowsily on Yulia's shoulder, with her hand on the vampire's face. Smiling, Yulia found the girl's fingertips with her lips and kissed them slowly, going lower and reaching the wrist. There, plainly, was a black-strapped, square watch, the only thing that Lena wore. The dark-haired didn't even touch it, such was her disinterest towards it, but then she did a double take, staring at the time.

Fuck it! She was up in a second, putting on the damn t-shirt and calling Lena's name. The redhead opened her eyes and looked around the room, and then frowned at Yulia, who was desperately trying to shove her jacket on without ripping it apart.

"Yul, whatās the matter? Why are you trying to put your jacket like that? It's upside down, you know."

"Lena, you gotta dress up right now, come on" her eyebrows shot upwards when she didn't see the redhead moving "Hurry! Look at the time! I need to take you home and then get back here before the sunrise!"

Finally, the girl understood and sat up on the bed, lazily gathering her socks, panties and bra. But she was going much too slow for Yulia, who growled impatiently and kneeled before Lena, dressing her up as if she was a life-sized doll. Still sleepy, Lena managed to enjoy the way Yulia lifted her arms, legs, and whole body with those strong but delicate hands of hers.

When she was done, the dark-haired slung the girl over her shoulder and jumped out the window, without a warning. Swallowing a shriek, Lena held on tight to Yulia's jacket, noticing that they were going more than fast. It was unreal; buildings and trees flashed past her eyes, and she felt her stomach crawling towards her throat. But this really was an emergency, for both of them. Yulia preferred delivering a sick-and-throwing-up Lena than having her family find out that she had spent the night outside her room. Besides, slowing down would mean that there would be no time to go back to her flat and she would be Miss Pile of Dust in no time.

The vampire leaped down from a taller building to the rooftop of the one Lena lived in, landing heavily on her hands and knees and destroying some floor tiles. The redhead was scared, but at least she was still there, holding on to her back. Not wasting a minute, Yulia slid down the buildingās front, and dug her nails on the brick wall when she got to the correct window. It had been a free fall, like the ones in a roller coaster, unfortunately necessary. She opened the window, dropped a trembling Lena inside, and kissed her shivering lips.

"Sorry about the trip. Must be getting stronger, I have never gone that fast." She managed to whisper hurriedly before turning to leave.

God. She was glad that Lena was already in her room, with the window closed, and getting into bed. Because if there was something that Yulia wasn't right now was safe, and her face expressed the deepest of fears, which for her was the fear of dying. She couldn't die now, please. Please, please, please. Would it change something if she prayed, if she hoped? No, she had no right of doing those things, but the thing was getting critical enough. There was no way she could reach her apartment before the sunrise. No way; maybe she would be able to go back half the distance, but never all of it. The sky was beginning to fade, and her terribly developed senses heard the first warning: the bird's chirps. Somewhere, far away, there were people waking and getting up.

This was horrible, she had to do something. But at the same time, she couldn't move a muscle. Her back was against the front of Lena's building, and her eyes were focusing on the sky, which was losing its blackness. She had never slept away from her safe bed or coffin, and now she felt weak and displaced. Like a lost child.

Come on! A voice inside her, some kind of animal instinct, ordered her to leave that place, and almost threw her off that building. She covered her head with the jacket and jumped blindly, barely knowing where she was; if she was on top of a house, or a tree, or a lamppost. God, no, she had to concentrate! Where could she hide during all the daylight hours? There had to be some kind of ruined building or basement... Something, please! In her blind madness, she even considered the option of going back to Lena's room and hiding inside her closet like a broken doll, or even under her bed, but that would surely mean discovery for her, with a house full of kids and a dog.

No one would have said that the sun was rising, but Yulia could feel it, burning her body. The clothes were no protection for her, just a couple of extra layers of skin that the sun could burn effortlessly. Her blood would be like gasoline to a match, and... pouf! She would be history. So, if there had ever been an emergency, this was it!

Not knowing how (maybe bumping off against the buildings), she got to the park where she had met Lena that terrible night. Or maybe it was destiny. Many crazy thoughts crossed Yulia's mind while she effortlessly tried to run away from the sun. But her instinct was working apart from her mind; it directed her to the place where there was grass, and the dark-haired found herself digging in the damp, brown earth. Those hands were hers, but at the same time, she hadn't ordered them to dig. It was just her vampire nature keeping her alive.

The hole was ready, like waiting for her, and it was so similar to a tomb that it gave her the creeps. But she dove into it and covered herself in that dead grass and wet earth like she loved it. Was she burnt? She couldn't know now. Besides, her eyes were closing and sinking her into slumber.